it's still good

Spent the day visiting the Castle of Chillon with Mylisha and Grace, yet another perfect day in the Swiss sun.

Paradise.

After dinner the weather dropped from 80 to 60 as an enormous thunderstorm rolled in. I'm spending the evening sitting on my windowsill watching the lightening and letting Andrea Gibson serenade me with her poetry. If you've never heard of her, go watch her other videos on youtube :)

"You never really stop missing someone, you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence."

No other quote has been more true. I know I'm happy here, and I've lived without the aspects of my american life for over 9 months. I could see myself staying here forever. But then all of a sudden I think of tiny little things from Bay, and they make my heart ache all over again. That's the one thing nobody ever warned me about. Homesickness literally hurts. It creates an aching pain that is indescribable. And it never really goes away, you just get used to the feeling, you get used to the loss inside of you. But then you start thinking of the things that cause you pain, and the feeling starts all over again. For one thing, my dog. I'm so used to the stupid cats my family has, and sometimes I pretend to get along with them. But then I think of how excited Buddy always is when I come home, and I miss him all over again. I miss driving my car and blasting music as loud as possible. I'm comfortable here with my family, but i'm always a little bit more reserved around them. In Bay I will fill the house with music and dance around in my pajamas, i haven't done that in ages. I miss the lake so much. I miss boating and tubing and watching thunderstorms over the water. I miss the small things, free refills, ice machines in the freezer, screens on the window so bugs don't get in. And needless to say, I miss my friends. It's hard to stay in contact with people living in a completely different world, but there are people who have stuck with me this whole time, and they are the ones who I'm excited to go home to. So yeah, for the most part I'm doing alright, I'm happy I've built my life here, but then I think of everything I get to go home to, and I get so excited. But then it hits me that going back to my old life means saying goodbye to my new life. My ears will no longer be filled with the beautiful french language and I will no longer see the stunning mountains everyday when I wake up. I won't get to ride trains and most importantly, I won't be surrounded by the people who have kept me alive this year. My friends have kept me sane when I was barely hanging on, and they know me better than I know myself. If it were up to me, I would go home for the summer, spend some time in Bay Village, and then I would come back here. But unfortunately responsibilities await me back home, and I can't spend my whole life running away from them.

Photo Update

We have a cathedral in the center of Fribourg that you can climb and view the town, so I went up with my dad and Whitney during his visit. This is a marvelous view of my current home.

Went to Interlaken for an afternoon with my dad and Whitney to do some canyoning! You literally swim, repel and jump down the river. It was really fun, although I did get a few bruises!

The pre-alps

View from Fribourg's mountain the Moléson.

Took a quick day trip to Interlaken last week with Mylisha and Meredith. It was storming the entire time, but absolutely gorgeous.

These are 5 reasons why I don't want to leave this beautiful country.

la vie est parfait.

you know when you have one of those moments where everything is just perfect? well I'm having one of those right now. My dearest father is visiting from america and he is spending 2 days living with me and my host family. Tonight I sat outside with my real dad and my host parents and we just talked for 3 hours about everything. We had english, french and franglais going all at the same time. I would talk to my host mom in french about my dad and he wouldn't even realize that we were talking about him. and then my host dad would think that I wasn't listening and he would tell my dad that I'm a member of their family and he considers me to be a daughter now. My host parents raved about me, telling my dad that I'm such an easy person to live with, I'll eat whatever, I follow the rules bla bla bla. I fought with my host dad over who got to have power over the tv for the night. I discussed with my host mom what I should do with my dad tomorrow while visiting Fribourg. At the end of the night my dad told me how proud he was that I could speak french with no problems. and he was even more impressed by my relationship with my family here. I joke around with everyone and argue over the stupidest this, but we have fun. They are my family. They've kept me alive for 9 months, and I can't even begin to express how much they've done for me. Every day I get to wake up in a beautiful house with a gorgeous view of the mountains. I speak french all day and come home to an amazing family. and sometimes I take it for granted, I forget how good I've got it. Sometimes it takes an outsiders point of view to realize how lucky I got.

unfair

I joined a choir at the beginning of the year that has about 12 people in it. Last month we had a free concert and people could donate if they wanted to. The money that we collected we've decided to use to have a fun little outing with the 12 of us and just have a nice day in the sun exploring Switzerland. We've been trying to find a good weekend to go on an adventure, but it's hard to combine all of our schedules, so someone suggested we wait until summer. and then one girl turned to me and said "Mais nous devons le faire avant nous perdions Michelle!" (We have to do it before we lose Michelle) and then I got super duper sad and everyone else kept asking me when I was leaving and once again I had to say the horrible date out loud. People talk so easily about the future, what choir will be like, what school will be like, summer plans. And then I just quietly slip away and attempt to ignore the fact that I can't be apart of those plans, because I will no longer be apart of Switzerland.

Lausanne

It suddenly hit me that I don't have too many weekends left to explore Switzerland, so I've been doing my best to get out to a different part of the country each weekend! But somehow I always end up near Lausanne, because it's by far the prettiest area in Switzerland.

On Lac Léman in Lausanne (my favorite area)

Once again on Lac Léman with Mylisha and Whitney

View from the train as it enters into Lausanne. The Lavaux region is a UNESCO World Heritage Site because of it's numerous vineyards

Whitney and I found a carnival in Lausanne last week, what a pleasant surprise!

Went to Zurich with Whitney and Kelly. We went to the Freitag store where you can climb to the roof of the building and overlook Zurich. It's right by the train station, so you mainly just see all the tracks surrounding you.

Mylisha is another exchangie in Fribourg who comes from San Francisco and last week her mom and aunt visited her for a few days. Her aunt is also going to be hosting my host brother Maxime next year, so Mylisha came over to my house with her family so we could talk a bit. When Max wasn't with us Mylisha's aunt asked what Max was really like and all of a sudden I just listed off a bunch of tiny little things. The fact that he won't eat food if it was anywhere near shrimp, he claims to eat olives but secretly picks them out of his food, he'll only eat salad if he's forced to do so, and he would eat Reese's all day if he could. Every question she asked I was capable of answering, whether it came to hobbies or school or just general household stuff. Sylvie (my host mom) just kind of looked at me and said "I guess you guys really are brother and sister now." and it's so true. We fight over everything, like who gets to sit in the front seat or who gets the last piece of bread, he steals my ipod and will raid my room in search of american gum and reese's (they don't sell them in switzerland) It's the small things like that that I'm going to miss. The little details that you don't even realize you know until someone asks.

In Lugano with Maxime and Guillaume

FREITAG!

Proudly showing off my latest purchase, a Freitag bag. They're a marvelous swiss invention, because they're both practical and economically conscious! The entire bag is made from recycled products, the bag is a tarp from a truck, the strap is a seatbelt and the lining is bicycle tires. These things are all over Switzerland and probably about half the people in my school owns one. The sad part is that they're rather expensive, which is why it took me so long to buy one, but I know i'll use it everyday and it comes with a lifetime guarantee! Each one is cut by hand from it's own tarp, so every single Freitag is different. I convinced Grace to buy one too, so now we feel super cool when we walk around in town proudly wearing our Freitags :)

The difference

While watching Wheel of Fortune in America you focus on the game and the final result. Pat is personable, but doesn't over do it. Vanna White keeps it classy while wearing her stunning floor length gowns.

While watching the french version of Wheel of Fortune the host flirts with the girls and the audience. Meanwhile the letter turner is wearing a dress so short not much is left for the imagination. She flirts with the guys and blows kisses at the camera.

That basically is the epitome of the difference between europe and america.

time

I told myself that I can start panicking about lack of time once these events occurred:

1. Rotary kids moved onto their last host families (they get 3 for the entire year and switch every 4 months)

2. My dad comes to Switzerland

3. My host sister comes home from her exchange in Malta

4. My real sister finishes her exchange in France

Here's the problem. Rotary kids have already started to switch to their last families. My dad is coming to Switzerland in 3 weeks. My host sister is coming home right around the same time my dad will get here. And my sister goes home in 1 month.

I have 68 more days in this beautiful country. 68 more days to be with my best friends and my family, 68 more days to speak and listen to french everyday. Everyone told me how hard an exchange year would be. I was prepared for the homesickness, the language barrier, the unfamiliarity of it all. But no one warned me how hard it would be to leave. And it scares me that it's still 10 weeks away and i'm already panicking about it. It's 1am and I have to be awake in 5 hours for school, but I can't shut my brain off. I can't stop thinking about what the month of July will bring for me. How am I supposed to completely leave this life I've built?