Weird things I've gotten used to and other random tidbits

After living in Thailand for over three months now I've found that there is very little that startles or shocks me on a daily basis, which is amazing, because in the beginning I had never-ending lists forming in my head of all of the weird things I experienced throughout the day.
Below is a sneak peek into the odd yet average things I experience throughout my daily life in Thailand.

A class roster phonetically translated into the latin alphabet

- All Thai children are born with startling long names which are nearly impossible for me to pronounce, let alone remember. Fortunately, at birth most Thai kids are given nicknames by their parents which they use interchangeably with their formal Thai name. Some easy nicknames include: Pink, New, Beer, and Asia. Others include: boom, om, pang, mod, and nom.
Their names have caused me constant frustration when it comes to grading papers. They'll write their nickname in Thai, which I then have to match to their formal Thai name and then translate it phonetically into English to match the grading rubric I've been given. I've taken to grabbing random students during recess asking them to "phud" (speak) as I point to a Thai name on a sheet I'm grading, just so I can hear them speak it, making it easy for me to match it to the English version on my rubric.

- The Thai alphabet has 44 consonant letters and then 15 symbols to represent vowels which are added on/around the consonants to turn them into a vowel. On top of a different alphabet, there are also symbols that indicate each of the five tones present in the Thai language. For example if you say "dow" in a slow flat tone it means star, but then if you say "dow" in a slow and falling tone it means turtle. I learned this the hard way when the kids wanted me to draw stars on their papers and I thought they were asking for turtles. They were not pleased with my carefully crafted smiling turtles. Woops. It also turns out I've been saying "bad luck" whenever I'm trying to tell someone their drawing is beautiful. I can't help but say it in an excited tone, "oh that's beautiful!" with my voice going up at the end, but of course that completely changes the meaning of the word. Instead you have to say it in a completely flat tone, making it far less exciting. I feel that tonal languages take away some of the animation and character prevalent in toneless languages.
As a native English speaker I'm very used to the fact that you can say a word in any tone and it'll still mean the same thing. Although I studied tonal languages in my linguistic classes it was no lesson in how to actually understand the tones. For now I am basically a tone-deaf person in a tonal world; leading me to wish bad luck on people and give them turtles when they want stars, I guess there are worse things in the world?
Of course the most obvious question following this discussion is why the heck am I speaking so much terrible Thai when I'm here to be speaking English? That could result in a rant a mile long, so instead I'll sum it up with this: no matter how many times you try to teach directions and instructions to four year old children, they will not retain or respond to that information. For best results, learn some Thai.

- One thing I was mentally prepared for was the possibility of squat toilets, and I was pleasantly surprised when I didn't stumble upon as many as anticipated. They are definitely around at gas stations/rest stops and seem to be the common public restroom of choice on the islands. However, my school, apartment, nice restaurants, and hotels all have western toilets. Plumbing in Thailand doesn't seem to have caught up to the 21st century, so the squat toilets don't have a flushing system, and neither do many of the western toilets either. Instead you'll find a container of clean water next to the toilet which you have to throw into the toilet to mime the act of flushing.
One thing that I should be used to but am not is throwing away toilet paper (don't tell the Thais!) The plumbing and septic systems throughout Thailand can't handle having any foreign objects being flushed, so instead each bathroom comes equipped with a garbage can for your used toilet paper. This usually emits a smell into the air that is best left to your imagination. I do my best to throw out TP when I remember, but apparently the motion of throwing it into the toilet is engrained in my body and isn't easily swayed.
Squat toilets are often looked down upon (literally hahah) and are avoided at all costs by some travelers I know, but honestly I've seen cleaner squat toilets than I've seen public restrooms in the states and other countries. It took one or two experiences, but now I don't blink twice at the face of a squat toilet.

Kids getting their hair cut during school

- The hair on students, both male and female, is kept to very strict rules while school is in session; and in order to maintain those strict standards the school brings in a team of hair cutters almost biweekly. They show up in a big bus, donned in their purple ponchos and armed with surgical masks (so they don't get sick?) The girls must not have hair longer than their earlobes and boys follow standards that would give the military a run for it's money. Students are excused from class when the hair cutting team is at school and they can go wait their turn to get their hair trimmed.

- I also recently learned that there are traveling dentists who visit the schools on the government's dime. Today there were about 10 dentists who came and checked each of the kid's mouths during class. I'm unsure how they would proceed if they found something wrong with the kids, but it was nice to see that there is a somewhat decent healthcare system put in place here, especially because many of these kid's wouldn't have the money to get health checks otherwise.


















- At my school all of the kindergarten kids wear little vests in various shades of pink (one of the school's colors). I'm not sure why the kids wear them, but it does help pick them out in a crowd, especially when there's just one little guy gone rogue. Most of the kids have snacks, toys or money in the front pocket of their vest which they break out in the middle of class.

- I'm finding that the kids are trusted and given much more freedom than American kids would ever have. Half the time I see something and can't help but think "if this were happening in the states the parents would sue the school." The most obvious examples are with the kindergarteners, because it often feels that they have free reign to do whatever pleases them. There's so many times I'll be teaching in a different classroom and a little kindergartener will come wandering into my class. I'll quickly shuffle them back in the direction of their classroom and the teacher doesn't even bat an eye. There are also many times when I'll walk past a classroom and the kids are in there completely alone, just doing whatever they want. There's no such thing as a bathroom pass and there's definitely no buddy system. The kids leave when they want and wander at their own free will. Although they'll go wherever they please in the surrounding area, they never leave the school gates. As cool as it is that the kindergarteners are going to the bathroom on their own and trusted to hold onto their own money to buy after school snacks, it seems rather negligent to me. I can't tell if this is the Thai way or lack of awareness by the teachers, but either way I often question what would happen if there was an accident with one of the kids.

- Living less than a block away from a temple I've gotten used to monks extremely quickly. I still honestly don't understand their lives but I know enough to stay clear of them because they can't touch women, and many don't talk to women either. Before coming to Thailand I pictured them living in exotic temples and never interacting with the outside world, but it turns out they shop at the markets, ride taxis and catch the bus to Bangkok. Monks, they're just like us! (except not).

- Thai coffee is some of the best coffee I've ever tasted, but unfortunately I can only seem to find it in large/popular cities. Around my apartment I have to settle for coffee stands that use instant NesCafé. My love for Switzerland is ardent and endless, but I really think they could've come up with something better than

                               these packets of powder. I am constantly day dreaming 

of my coffee maker back home. 

- I take my shoes on and off more times in a day than I do in a week in the states (that might be an exaggeration, but you get my point.) Going into a classroom? Take your shoes off. Going into a clinic? Take your shoes off. Going into a temple? You better take your shoes off!! Basically any established company or building requires bare feet, including but not limited to a post office, clothing store, hostel, and doctor's office. I have learned to love easy slip on shoes and quickly ditched anything with straps and laces.

Food: A Love Story

A good meal served at school
Noodles with peanut sauce and about five other things

Thailand has an endless reputation of positive feedback when it comes to delicious and cheap meals, so my foodie self was abnormally excited to hit the streets and start trying all of the new meals that would be available to me. I pictured myself eating my body weight in curry and glass noodles (with a side of pad thai), so I was terribly shocked when my food dreams didn't come true. Although I'm a vegetarian that is really my only limitation to what I won't eat, and even then I've never considered myself to be a picky eater; until I came to Thailand. If there's one thing I can't stand the taste of, it's fish, and what do Thais love to cook with? Fish sauce! Oh joy. All of my favorite meals are continuously ruined by the taste of fish. Pad thai, omelettes, tofu, harmless veggie stir fry, you name it. And on top of that it turns out that all of the Thai restaurants in the US serving curry are frauds, because that's not a common Thai dish. It's been a constant struggle trying to find meals that I'll actually enjoy, but I think I finally have a system now: If it tastes okay, don't ask questions. 

jackfruit: my new favorite fruit

Don't get me wrong though! For every disappoint I've endured with food I've found something amazing as well. Each day at lunch we're served a free meal and the teachers have been really great in finding me good combos of food that don't involve fish or meat. Our school has been much more successful in serving delicious meals compared to what I find at the local market each evening for dinner. 

The best part is definitely the fruit. Each day at school we're served a generous variety of fresh fruit and that's also where the majority of my money goes each evening. The fruit lady at the local market has taught me the bulk of my fruit vocabulary and she's also painstakingly endured the process of me learning Thai numbers, not getting frustrated when she tells me I owe 50 baht and I obliviously hand over 20 with a smile. We see each other almost every day and in my head we're friends, but in reality all of our "conversations" revolve around fruit. 

I think i'll be fine if I never eat another grain of rice in my life, but I've also stopped sweating and crying when eating spicy foods, so you win some and lose some. 

Typical dinner from the market: some crazy rice dish
that includes eggs, chilis, mystery meat (which
I pick out) and some sort of pickled cabbage situation.
Purchased on the side is some sort of wrapped egg
and a  tofu kebab which I no longer  can eat because
I can't deny the taste of fish. 

Thai breakfast 

The one place where Thailand really can't win is the breakfast category. We recently stayed at a hotel with a free breakfast buffet and in a classic Joey Tribbiani moment I approached the morning with the concept of "this is where I'll win back my money" (not hard to do when the hotel is $5/night) Anyways, we stumble downstairs to an array of Thai breakfast food that immediately stopped us in our tracks. Fried noodles, rice, meatball soup and fried chicken. Definitely not what I was craving at 7am. Although I'm not usually one to bypass free food, we happily left that place and found a café down the street offering fresh coffee, toast and eggs. 

Outside of school each morning there are food carts set up offering similar foods to grab on the way to school. Kids will walk through the gates each morning slurping on some ramen soup or picking at a chicken kebab. I usually settle on a prepackaged muffin each morning from 7-Eleven. Did I mention that I think I'm terribly malnourished? 95% of my diet is carbs, followed by a few fruits, but I barely get any veggies, dairy products or protein. 

One thing that I have yet to capture a picture of is the absurd amount of people Thais will have on a motorbike, usually including a baby in the arms of a passenger and a toddler standing on the footrest looking out over the handle bars. That's definitely another thing I've gotten used to, and I promise I'll snap a picture at the next opportunity I have!

Despite the initial culture shock I experienced when I first arrived, things have settled down into the most normal they can be while living a life in Thailand. I'm grateful for my time here because many of these crazy and obscure observations never would have been found if I only stuck to the touristy parts of the country. I'm sure there are plenty more crazy things I experience on a daily basis, but life just seems so normal now! More to come when I think of it.