Oh baby we're half way there

Today marks my halfway point in Switzerland. The countdown has officially changed from how many weeks I've been here to how many weeks I have left. for your information it's 23 weeks in, and 23 weeks left. I honestly don't even know how I feel about it. I have a little bit of every emotion swimming around my brain right now, including happy, excited, sad, proud, frustrated, scared and everything else you could possibly imagine. I'm proud of myself for making it this far, sad that I'm halfway done, yet happy at the same time that I'll soon(ish) be reunited with my life in America. And sometimes I'm frustrated that I'm only halfway done. This has been an amazing 5 months, but seriously, another 5!? Sometimes it seems impossible. A lot of the time I am so happy with my life in Switzerland, and proud of myself for making it this far. This is really the only thing I've ever done by myself. I have built a life all on my own, coming over here without knowing a single person. But now those strangers have turned into best friends, the unfamiliar town of Fribourg has turned into a place I could navigate if blind, and that family who welcomed me on my first day in Switzerland has turned into my home. I also have plenty of off days when I get a little nostalgic about the past, when I miss being in Bay Village with my friends and family, the people who have seen me through everything important in my life. Because in all honesty, nothing beats the people you grew up with. I look forward to seeing them in July and have already been planning things to do this summer. But I need to keep in mind that as much as I am looking forward to going home, i have to live in this moment, because I know the second I leave there will be a Switzerland shaped hole in my heart, and I'll begin to miss everything more than thought possible. Even though french stresses me out, I know I'll miss hearing it everyday. I'll miss taking the train home from school everyday and taking the same bus as Meredith in the morning. I'll miss the people who have become my friends and family, and I'll look back on our year together and want to return to it. I'll miss the mountains, and the fact that after 5 months they can still take my breath away. So I'm going to go out and live my next 5 months to the fullest, and hope that when I finally return to america I'll have a million amazing memories to take with me.

Maybe together we can get somewhere

So it's sunday afternoon and I'm too lazy to leave the house, so instead I'm sitting in my room pondering life (you know, the usual). I was thinking that even though I've been here 5 months, I don't have the same relationships here compared to the US. but that's because here, I'm closer with my friends. I've realized that I have been more honest with myself and others since arriving here, that I don't hold back anything now, because we're starting from scratch with everybody. and it's almost easier that way, because nobody here grew up with me, they don't know my friends or my family, and somehow that makes it easier to be my complete self. I've learned so much about myself and become more honest here, because we're all looking for companionship. All the exchangies came over here alone, but you can't live alone for too long. You have to eventually get everything out the open and build new relationships. The problem with being an exchange student is that, eventually, the stress is going to get to you. One day you'll just get so fed up with not understanding, or being lonely that you will break. I've seen the strongest people become torn to pieces. and it kills me to see my friends hurt, but I've learned so much more about them that way. Everybody has a problem they can talk about, but despite those problems they can still be happy people. I can honestly say that I know more personal details about the other exchangies than I do about people in Bay Village. It would be so easy for everyone to come over here and start over new. To pretend that all the problems of their home life didn't exist. and in the beginning we do that, but somehow in the end, the truth always comes out. I'm still not exactly sure why that is, but I know it's helping people grow. Talking about their problems makes them real, but then at the same time not. Because we're all thousands of miles away from our old life. Therefore our problems become old problems. We can start new here and learn to be happy with who we were and who we are becoming. And I think that's amazing.

Sorry if none of that made sense, I'm just sort of rambling.

Years, they come and go, but today is here to stay.

Today marks my 5th month in Switzerland! Time really is flying by quicker than I though it would. It literally feels like last month that I arrived here, so it kind of freaks me out how fast everything is moving. But I'm sure time won't be moving as fast for the next 2 month because I literally have nothing going on except school. Every single day. Rough.

I'm just anxiously awaiting the arrival of March, or more specifically my birthday (FYI it's March 20th if you wanted to send some presents...) because the morning of my 19th birthday I am going to the airport to pick up my one and only soul sister!! I am beyond the point of ecstatic and need these 2 months to fly by as fast as possible. A year of separation isn't really an option for us, and I honestly don't know how we've survived the past 5 months, but it's ok because i only need to wait 2 more until we get a whole week of sisterly bonding! and then at the end of the week I'll take her to the train station where she will hop on a train to France for a 3 month study program. So then we'll be only hours away and in the same time zone! It's madness how awesome that will be! and then the same day she goes to France I'm going to plop myself on a plane with a few friends and jet off to Amsterdam for the weekend! We're going to the Matt & Kim concert (see video below) and I'm extremely excited! So I get my birthday, my sister, Amsterdam and Matt & Kim all in one week. Sometimes my life is awesome.

see, the world's still beautiful

I just left all of my Australians at the airport on Friday, so they can return to their homes. They have a different school year there, so they've already been in Switzerland for their 12 months. I went to school with one of my friends Jess, and ever since we started hanging out I began dreading the day she would leave. With exchangies, we have the 'oldies' and the 'newbies'. The oldies being the australians and new zealanders who had already been in switzerland for 6 months upon our arrival. and then the newbies, us, the new kids on the block. Saturday marked the last day of all the oldies leaving the country, making us the oldies now. We'll get a new group of exchangies coming in within the next couple of weeks, and it will be up to us to show them around and give them the proper experiences and advice. But here's the thing, I'm not ready to be an oldie yet! I'm not ready to experience Switzerland without our wise oldies to guide us, because it all honesty, it's not Switzerland without them. They were a crucial part of our exchange, teaching us the ropes in the beginning, and being there for support when we thought it was impossible to go on. But now it's up to us to be there for our newbies, and show them that 5 months in (holy crap that went fast!) we're still alive and have adjusted to this crazy swiss life. It's scary that I'm almost half way done, yet exciting at the same time. I was so upset the entire week before our Aussies left, and I spent as much time as possible with Jess, not wanting her to leave. We got together a group of people to take her to the airport on Friday, and tried to ignore the purpose of our trip and instead just have a good time on the train. I was (and still am) slightly jealous that they all got to leave. As Kelly kept saying "I want the feeling of completing my entire year. The satisfaction of going home after being away for 12 months. As much as I want to go home right now, I couldn't do it, becuase I need to finish what I started. It wouldn't feel as good to go home today as it will in July." and that's completely true. Deep down, or even right on the surface for some, everybody wants to go home. We miss our real families, and our real friends, our beds, our pets and the comfort of driving around town at 2 in the morning with the people who truly know us. So yes, I'm extremely jealous that those lucky exchangies are now at home, but I know it's not my time. If I were to leave tomorrow I would be sad to be leaving Switzerland, and disappointed in myself for giving up. Because the thing is, when we left everybody at the airport, they weren't sad. They were so happy to be going home, and so proud of themselves for finishing their entire year. They have the satisfaction of saying they survived on their own for 12 months. So I know when I leave Switzerland I'll be upset, but by that point I will be beyond ready to go home. Because even though I love Switzerland, it's still not the same. Nothing beats your real life and sometimes it feels like I'm just renting this life until I can return to my old one. But everyday I remind myself that yeah, sometimes it sucks to be here, but sometimes it's so much better. I only have 6 months left to experience everything I can here, and sometimes that doesn't even seem like enough time. So I'm going to climb mountains, swim in lakes, travel to new countries, ride endless trains, stay out all night, speak french and live this marvelous life I've created on my own.

hug rant

I was watching Glee with my brother Maxime today (he claims he hates it, yet I have found him watching it numerous times) and it's the episode where Idina Menzel plays Rachel's mom. They sing my personal favorite cover (Poker Face) and then hug as they say goodbye. Maxime turns to me and says "a little hug, that's right?" and I respond "yes that's right. But what's the word 'hug' in french. I forget it" his response "we don't use that word..." yes ladies and gentlemen, this is true life, he doesn't even know the word for hug in french, because they DON'T DO IT! Now I think it's a bit odd that he doesn't know the word in french, because even though I don't bungee jump, I still know the word for it... you know what I mean? But anyways, this question brought up an interesting discussion between my brother and I. I asked him why people never hug here, and he said it's too personal, the 3 kisses is such a better way to greet people because you don't have to be on a first name basis to do it. I guess that makes sense, because you wouldn't hug someone you just met, whereas it's completely acceptable to do the 3 kisses upon first meeting. but seriously, I am severely lacking in hugs over here, and it's slightly depressing that Maxime doesn't even know the word, let alone the feeling, of getting a quality hug from someone you know.

Bekar Misiniz?

Prepare yourself for the longest blog post ever.

I spent the last week of my winter break in Istanbul, Turkey with Grace so we could visit my cousin Sarah who is living there! We left Monday morning with about 12 hours of sleep accumulated within the last 3 nights. We were slap happy and excited (bad combination) as we made our day long trip to Turkey, complete with just about every form of transportation imaginable including a bus, train, shuttle, plane, taxi and boat.

Flying over the Swiss Alps

We were greeted by the warm air (by swiss standards) and the smell of rain as we walked out of the airport. We got in pretty late Monday night (actually that's a lie, we got in at like 5, but we were exhausted!) so we went out for some dinner then crashed at Sarah's for the night. After oversleeping, we got up Tuesday morning and went out to explore the city of Istanbul! We did the classic tourist spots including the Aya Sofia (not Eye of Sophia as some might think...) and The Blue Mosque.

The Aya Sofia

The Blue Mosque

We did a bit of shopping and spent the majority of the afternoon lounging in the MASSIVE Starbuck's drinking coffee and writing postcards. Turkey is super duper cheap compared to Switzerland, so I think I got Starbuck's about 6 times throughout our 5 days there. Great!

Wednesday we ventured into the Grand Bizarre, which was so crazy! It was filled to the brim with tourists, which means the Turkish people working there would try to lure us in. I think they only know 5 phrases in english, all starting with "pretty lady." We went out to dinner with some of Sarah's friends at a restaurant where you take off your shoes and sit on pillows on the ground. I thought it was pretty fun :)

I'm sure this statue has some sort of significance, but I really just enjoyed roll playing :)

Thursday was our last full day, so we had more of an American day. We went out to lunch at a lighthouse that is on an island. It started out normal, but then the 80 year old 'sugar man' came over to talk to us. Somehow he just didn't grasp the fact that Sarah was the only one who could speak Turkish, so he just kept babbling away to me, apparently telling me that I'll get a lot of guys with my smile. Great! He made us go up to his little candy corner in the lighthouse and made us some sucker type things, and then had some trouble letting us go. But eventually we escaped and made it back to land! Hip hip hooray!

On the boat after eating at the lighthouse

We spent the rest of the afternoon making chocolate chip cookies (a rarity in both Switzerland and Turkey, so we were all pretty happy) and then we watched My Best Friend's Wedding, a classic movie in our family.

Sarah and Grace

Friday morning we completed our Turkey adventure with a Turkish bath. It's a bit like a spa treatment, and you get scrubbed down and exfoliated then just lounge about in a sauna and pool. After relaxing all morning, Grace and I said our goodbye's and made the long journey back to good ol' Switzerland!

It was good to get away for a bit and just be a tourist. Not worrying about being a member of a family, fitting in or speaking french. It was a good escape that was needed. The whole train ride home I was just amazed with my life. I had spent an entire week with my cousin and my best friend in Istanbul. Grace kept saying "if someone came up to me a year ago and told me I would be going to Turkey with some random girl from Ohio I would have laughed in their face." and that's completely true! A year ago I was slowly living my life in good ol' Bay Village, Ohio. Don't get me wrong, I loved my life last year, and senior year was without a doubt my favorite year of school, but when I compare my life last year and my life this year, they're just on completely different levels. I never imagined I could be so content here. It can still be a little hard, because coming home to my host family is nothing compared to coming home to my mom and soul sister. But it was still coming home. It was my room and my bed and my Swiss life that I came home to. I was excited to catch up with my friends here after not seeing them for a week, and excited to see my family after being away. I'm proud of myself for making it this far, because it's defiantly the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm excited to see what the next 6 months will bring!

Bonne Année!

Happy 2011 Everyone!

I brought in the new year with such a marvelous night :) I'm tellin ya, this new year's is going down in history! I was with my best friends here and we just had an amazing time. We all had dinner at Whitney's house then afterwards we went to a club in town for the countdown. and it was in english, which i found bizarre, because I was actually looking forward to counting down in french. fail. but anywaysss, afterwards I went back home with Grace, Mylisha and Jess and we attempted to sleep. But my marvelous host brother decided to have a party. Grace and I stayed up until 7am, so we actually watched the ball drop online, which made me pretty happy! So we got 2 new year's instead of one :) We slept for about 2 hours then spent the day bumming around my house doing nothing. My host parents are out of town and all of our food got eaten during the party, so I spent the rest of my weekend at Grace's so I could be fed. Tonight Grace and I are sleeping at my house so we can wake up bright and early to go to Turkey tomorrow morning!

I love how independent I've become over here. I was skyping with my darling mother, and told her that Grace and I would be home alone tonight at my house and she asked how we were supposed to get to the airport if my parents aren't here. And for me the answer is so obvious, with the train of course! I don't even consider taking a car anymore, but for you crazy americans you probably can't even think about living without your car. I thought the same thing before I came over, "how will I survive a year without driving?!" and yeah, sometimes I miss aimlessly driving down I-90 blasting my favorite CD's, but in all honesty I love the trains, and I know I'll miss them. I know all the schedules for my regular destinations and they've become such a normal thing in my daily life. and it's just marvelous!

anywayssss, I'm severely lacking sleep so I should at least attempt a little cat nap before I jet off to Turkey tomorrow morning! ciao!