This past weekend marked the third month that I've been away from home, so I figured it was time to do a little reflecting on my time in Thailand. I'm not usually one to self analyze too much, but it's impossible not to notice the changes I've seen in myself since landing in Thailand, and for the most part I think I'm happy with the changes.
The most obvious difference that I see in myself is that I've mellowed out a ton. When it comes to organizing, planning or scheduling, my Type A personality shines bright. I proudly functioned out of two calendars in the states and made endless lists throughout the day to keep me on track. While I'll admit to still making lists (how could anyone go without lists!?) I've definitely calmed down on the scheduling and planning aspects of life. A part of that is because my time is devoted to school, and my school schedule is always up in the air. I learned within the first few weeks that just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you get the time off, and more often than not you won't actually know you don't get the weekend free until a day or two beforehand. We stopped planning things in advance a while ago, because our plans kept falling through due to school. This is also a result of "Thai time' as the locals call it: doing everything with very little planning and never doing anything on time.
It still baffles me how little planning Thai people seem to do, they're simply content with whatever info they know and they just take each day as it comes. Definitely not my style but I'm slowly starting to accept it. A superb example is the subject of summer. I'm super keen to start backpacking Asia, and if this were any other trip I would already have flights, hotels and tours booked throughout the continent. But alas, I am on Thai time and I can't for the life of me get a clear answer as to when summer starts! It bugs me, but I'm accepting it. As eager as I am to start my summer adventures I am aware of the fact that I might not know when summer starts until two weeks before break, and that's just something I have to be okay with.
This is the first time in my adult life when I don't check my calendar every morning and when I'm not scheduling coffee dates or dinners with friends (lets be real though, I have very few friends in Thailand). I take each day as it comes and although I have a general idea of what I want to do during a certain weekend it's nothing solid and never written down.
On top of a more mellow outlook on life I can't help but feel grateful yet guilty by the life I live. Thai standard of normal is nothing compared to my standard of normal. Previously a third world country, Thailand can now be considered a developing country but there are constant reminders of the poverty that remains throughout the land. I've never lived in such a mixed population of economic status before, and it's interesting to see how these worlds coexist. I can now say that this is where the pieces are finally coming together. To a westerner it would appear that many of Thais live in poverty, which I guess to our standards they do, but to them this is normal; it isn't sad, shunned or frowned upon, it's just how they live. Many of the students eat all three of their meals at school, because their parents can't afford to feed them. We have a few students who seem to live at the local orphanage, and even more who are special needs and aren't getting the attention they need. At first it was startling to learn all of this information, and even now it can be a little hard to stomach at times, but that's just Thailand. They have poverty, they have injustice, they have situations that they can't do anything about, and they accept it. And that's where the lightbulb went off: I've always pitied residents of third world countries, and that was honestly my first mindset of my new city in Thailand, and although this area is extremely underdeveloped, they're happy. This is their normal. The 'coffee shop' I visit on a regular basis is in no way a shop or a legit business, it's just a women working out of her garage, but each day her coffee cart is flocking with people and she always greets us with a smile.
I used to think that happiness and success was a four bedroom house, new clothes, a college degree and funds to travel the world, but Thailand is teaching me that the meaning of success and happiness fluctuates and varies around the world. A large portion of the Thai population are living in underdeveloped areas, but they're not a charity case. The standard of life is different in Thailand, and it used to be something that intimidated me and made me uncomfortable. I often miss the comforts of home and my version of normal: living in a place with more than one room, having a big kitchen, a shower with warm water, and driving my beloved jeep. But to many Thais that lifestyle is gluttonous. Many of the teachers have questioned if I live in a "mansion" like in American movies, and after realizing their version of "mansion" is your typical suburban home, I reply with a nod only to be handed ten more questions. How many people live in the house? Why do we each have our own room? Who needs three bathrooms in a house? And honestly, I can't give them an answer. Just because their version of comfort and normal are so different from mine I reacted towards it with a negative outlook and it's just now hitting me that although they're living in underdeveloped areas their quality of life and happiness doesn't vary much from my own.
This doesn't mean that everyone in Thailand is living the perfect life, just like any other country there are countless people who are struggling in poverty and could use help rebuilding their life. However, I'm realizing that there's an endless spectrum between a wealthy life and one in poverty, and just because some people fall lower on the spectrum it doesn't lower their quality of life.
That was a lot of rambling to simply say that Thailand fascinates me and is constantly teaching me new lessons. I'm learning that financial stability is important, but money and a big job are not everything. I've accepted that I often view other cultures from a pompous or pretentious eye and in order to truly appreciate a country for what it is, I have to adapt to a more unassuming role and become less critical in how I see the world. It's easy to judge a place when you have expectations but I quickly learned that accepting a culture for who they are will prove much better results as opposed to making opinions based on what you don't know.
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