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Celebrating the 4th of July in Lucerne with other exchangies

Coming home from the 4th

Grace is legitimately the only reason I've survived this year. I would have been so lost without her.

All of a sudden the countdown went from months to weeks to days and now suddenly we're using hours. 24 hours and I'll be on a plane headed for america. A year ago when I was down to the hour countdown leaving for Switzerland I was a mess. Ask anyone who saw me, I cried for about 3 days straight. So far this departure has shockingly been easier, because this time I know exactly what will be waiting for me when I step off that plane, but at the same time, I don't think it's fully hit me that I'm about to leave everything behind. I can guarantee that I will not be a good sight at the airport tomorrow morning. Grace and I are taking the 5.30am train to the Zurich airport with Mylisha, Meredith and Whitney for company and then we'll meet up with the other AFSers from America who we haven't seen since August and we'll be on our way.

I don't even know how to express how amazing and beneficial this year has been. When I boarded the plane back in August I did not want to come here at all. I was just waiting for my parents to tell me that it's okay if I changed my mind and I could come home. But that phone call never came and I had to face the fact that I was definitely here for a year. My first few weeks here were the hardest weeks I've ever experienced, despite the support of my host family and my new friends, I still wanted to leave this foreign life. Then after months of struggling I suddenly realized that I was happy here. Suddenly french didn't stress me out anymore, I didn't feel awkward living with a family that wasn't mine. I knew the bus and train schedules and had finally stopped getting lost everywhere I went. The feeling can't be described, it's just something you have to experience, but for the first time in my life I felt as if I was actually living. I wasn't just taking up space on the planet, I was doing something. I've hiked endless mountains, touched snow in June, spontaneously hopped on a boat and went to France, traveled to England, Ireland, Netherlands, Italy, Liechtenstein, Turkey and Spain, spent days aimlessly riding trains across the country, met some of the most amazing people I've ever had the fortune of stumbling across, and most importantly I've learned so much about myself this year. I think I've changed a lot this year, I've grown up and realized what I want in life, and I know that every single crappy situation that I went through this year only made me stronger in the long run. I've survived an entire year in a foreign country without knowing a soul when I arrived. If I can survive that, I'm pretty positive I can take anything else life hands my way. So now all I have to say is thank you. Even though I was time zones away, I always had a solid support system in america, and in all honesty, I wasn't really expecting that. But all year long I got messages and letters from my parents, sister, cousins, neighbors and friends. And even just a small email made the world to me, so thank you to all the people that sent little words of encouragement throughout the year. Words can't describe how ecstatic I am to finally be back home, but if you ever see me looking a little lost, please remember that I've just lost everything that has been close to me for the past year. I'm about to leave behind an entire world in order to go back to my old one. I promise I'm excited to finally be back, but it's still bittersweet. I've never had to say goodbye to somebody not knowing if I'll ever see them again. So excuse me if for a while I look a little out of place, I'll just be trying to get back on my feet.