Right before I left for Switzerland I found out my mom would be moving to a new house while I would be here, so I took the time to pack up my entire room into cardboard boxes to get sent to the new house. I think I had 7 boxes sitting in my room when I left for Switzerland, 7 boxes worth of stuff that I consider to be extremely important in my life. But I've lived without that stuff for an entire year, and I can't stop wondering what is inside of those boxes. I know I have a lot of books and scrapbooks, but what else did I think was necessary to save? Unpacking those boxes and getting settled into my new room will definitely make my return more stressful, but I'm actually slightly excited to unpack each box and see if I still consider everything to be as essential as I did before.
Friday, June 24, 2011
I'm slowly starting to get all of my stuff together. I'm not exactly packing yet, I refuse to take out my suitcase, but I'm trying to organize my life a little bit. I've been throwing out papers all week, stupid stuff from school, random lists I don't need anymore, clothes that no longer fit, empty bottles that I thought I wanted to save and the list goes on and on. This is definitely a challenging task, but I feel like it's also rather beneficial to see exactly what I consider important in my life. yes, I love saving small souvenirs of my life such as receipts and magazine pictures or stolen shot glasses. But is it really essential? Is it really worth the space and weight that it will take up in my suitcase? I feel like once a year I should try to fit my entire life into a suitcase, that way I can get rid of all the stupid stuff I think I need but really don't.
deux semaines
I keep having nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night. I dream that I can't remember how to drive a car, that I don't recognize my best friends, that I get lost trying to get home, that I can't remember how to speak english. I know that none of that is going to happen, but worries of returning are always in the back of my mind. I can't turn off my brain. It's not fair that all of this has to end in two weeks. I've worked so hard to get here, to be happy, to make friends and speak french. Leaving the US was without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's still hard to think about my last days there. But I think leaving Switzerland will somehow be even harder. When I left the US I knew that in 11 months I would be returning to everything there. But Switzerland is a different story. I know I will be back someday, but what's Switzerland without my fellow frenchies? The other exchange students here are the ones who kept me going when I was sad. They're the only ones who really understand my feelings and struggles, and they're the only one's who can rejoice in my success and truly know what it means. But now they're all going back to their homes spread throughout the world too, and I know Switzerland will be losing a lot of valuable people the day they leave. I know coming back to Switzerland will make me so happy, but it will lose a lot of it's magic without the other exchange students. Because of that, I believe leaving Switzerland might be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. Harder than leaving Bay Village and harder than my first couple of months here, because it's like losing a part of me. Switzerland has been my life for the past 11 months and I have fallen in love with the country. But next time I come back the important aspects of the country will be gone, and I don't think it can ever fully return to it's whole self. So of course I'm excited to go back home, but I'm heartbroken to leave behind the world that was formed here. Is it even possible to leave behind a home, yet return home at the same time?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Ironique
About 2 weeks before my departure for Switzerland, I changed my mind. I didn't want to come here, I didn't want to leave my friends and family behind. I had a marvelous life and spent my days with amazing people.
Now, about 2 weeks before my departure for America, I've changed my mind. I don't want to leave. I don't want to go back to the small bubble of Bay Village. I've got amazing friends who've kept me alive and an even more amazing family who've shown me how wonderful Switzerland is.
Kind of ironic, isn't it?
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm supposed to be feeling. At times all I want to do is leave this place, because I promise, I honestly do miss my friends and family. But then I think of how small my life was before Switzerland. I've been with the same people since I was born and it's been so nice to get away. I've figured out who I am here, and I've become so much more honest with myself and others. I'm surrounded by culture and I'm with people from all over the world. I have the entire country of Switzerland to explore, I take trains almost everyday, just trying to discover a new part of the country. Today I went to France by boat, wanna know why? Because I can! I have so much freedom here, and then I start to think about going home... I have to find a job, I have to start college, I have to study and work hard to become successful. I'm already stressed just thinking about it, a to-do list has already been forming in my head for weeks. So why leave a place where I have no stress and am completely comfortable? Because I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss boating on Lake Erie and eating Taco Bell at 2am. I miss aimlessly driving around and blasting my music. I just hope that when everything else returns to normal, I can still remember everything I learned this year.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Time for another photo update!
My host family in Barcelona! We rented bikes for an afternoon and cruised around the city.
My host sister Pauline and I while waiting in line for the cathedral.
Epitome of my family. Maxime, Guillaume, Me and Pauline
The beach in Barcelona!
Parc Güell
Barcelona was amazing and it was really fun to take a trip with my host family, but it was still good to get back to Switzerland.
This week my friend Kelsey came to visit me! She's from Bay Village but is studying in Florence for 6 weeks. So she came up to Switzerland for the weekend.
We took an afternoon to go see the Castle of Chillon with Mylisha and her cousin April who is also visiting Fribourg.
Lac Léman
With Mylisha at the castle
Just doing some interpretive dancing
On another note, I have to leave Switzerland in 19 days. What? I'm pretty sure I'm not okay with that. And it doesn't really help that my host mom brings it up practically every single day, making sure that I don't overpack, talking about train times and plans for the last week here. But don't worry, I told my host sister that I'm just going to stay here and she didn't have a problem with it. Although I am looking forward to seeing the midnight premier of Harry Potter in Bay Village, so I guess that means I'll have to leave...
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Hola, cómo estás?
Long story short, Barcelona was amazing! I forgot how much I love the ocean and napping on the beach. Spanish people are awesome and Spain is so much more relaxed than Switzerland. But it was still a relief to come home. I prefer trains instead of taxis, mountains instead of the beach (well actually, that might be a tie) and in general, Switzerland is a lot cleaner than the rest of Europe. I'll post some pictures once I've got them on my computer.
On another note, my ankle is healing quite nicely, but sadly I've gotten terribly sick. I've got a nice combo of a runny nose, a cough and some congestion/headache situation going on. It's like a mix between a cold and allergies. So much fun. and ladies and gentleman, karma has taught me my lesson: I've been skipping way too much school to go exploring, so now when i'm actually sick and could use a day off, I have to go to school. great. But it's okay because my host sister Pauline has been making me this magical tea that is super yummy, so hopefully all will be well soon!
I come home exactly one month from today. But I'll save the freakout for another time.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
merde...
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