see, the world's still beautiful

I just left all of my Australians at the airport on Friday, so they can return to their homes. They have a different school year there, so they've already been in Switzerland for their 12 months. I went to school with one of my friends Jess, and ever since we started hanging out I began dreading the day she would leave. With exchangies, we have the 'oldies' and the 'newbies'. The oldies being the australians and new zealanders who had already been in switzerland for 6 months upon our arrival. and then the newbies, us, the new kids on the block. Saturday marked the last day of all the oldies leaving the country, making us the oldies now. We'll get a new group of exchangies coming in within the next couple of weeks, and it will be up to us to show them around and give them the proper experiences and advice. But here's the thing, I'm not ready to be an oldie yet! I'm not ready to experience Switzerland without our wise oldies to guide us, because it all honesty, it's not Switzerland without them. They were a crucial part of our exchange, teaching us the ropes in the beginning, and being there for support when we thought it was impossible to go on. But now it's up to us to be there for our newbies, and show them that 5 months in (holy crap that went fast!) we're still alive and have adjusted to this crazy swiss life. It's scary that I'm almost half way done, yet exciting at the same time. I was so upset the entire week before our Aussies left, and I spent as much time as possible with Jess, not wanting her to leave. We got together a group of people to take her to the airport on Friday, and tried to ignore the purpose of our trip and instead just have a good time on the train. I was (and still am) slightly jealous that they all got to leave. As Kelly kept saying "I want the feeling of completing my entire year. The satisfaction of going home after being away for 12 months. As much as I want to go home right now, I couldn't do it, becuase I need to finish what I started. It wouldn't feel as good to go home today as it will in July." and that's completely true. Deep down, or even right on the surface for some, everybody wants to go home. We miss our real families, and our real friends, our beds, our pets and the comfort of driving around town at 2 in the morning with the people who truly know us. So yes, I'm extremely jealous that those lucky exchangies are now at home, but I know it's not my time. If I were to leave tomorrow I would be sad to be leaving Switzerland, and disappointed in myself for giving up. Because the thing is, when we left everybody at the airport, they weren't sad. They were so happy to be going home, and so proud of themselves for finishing their entire year. They have the satisfaction of saying they survived on their own for 12 months. So I know when I leave Switzerland I'll be upset, but by that point I will be beyond ready to go home. Because even though I love Switzerland, it's still not the same. Nothing beats your real life and sometimes it feels like I'm just renting this life until I can return to my old one. But everyday I remind myself that yeah, sometimes it sucks to be here, but sometimes it's so much better. I only have 6 months left to experience everything I can here, and sometimes that doesn't even seem like enough time. So I'm going to climb mountains, swim in lakes, travel to new countries, ride endless trains, stay out all night, speak french and live this marvelous life I've created on my own.